Sakura

This is one of those posts long overdue. It should have been a posted during April, a few months ago, but as I've said earlier, it was quite hectic during that period, so I've decided to post it now.

The sakura or cherry blossom is a very special flower to many Japanese. For many, I'd say that if you hear something about the sakura flower, you'll immidately relate it to Japan. Although not officially recognized as the national flower many would say that the Japanese see it as so. The thing about the sakura is that the individual flowers are not all that special all on their own, if you look at them closely however, it's the effect of the whole sakura tree at full bloom which is magnificent. Coming into full bloom in peak spring, it could be though of the sign of the end of winter. During summer one can say that it is just an average tree. It looses it's leaves during autumn and is bare to it's skeleton during winter. What's very interesing, is the speed of it's blossoming during spring. In a period of say, lesser than one week, the sakura will transform from it's bare branches, to the full blossom of flowers covering the tree like a pink canopy. Pictures (especially the ones I've taken below), don't do justice to it's beauty. It's there blossoming in full bloom for a week, maybe a little more maybe 2. Then just as fast as it blossoms, the flowers cover the earth surrounding it with pink, and the flowers are gone.

Perhaps it's the short life of the sakura's full bloom which makes it even more beautiful. Humans after all get bored easily, and if it bloomed for say, 2 months or 3 during the course of the year, then maybe it will simply become just "another flower". Sometimes I almost see a parallel of the Japanese life, and that of the sakura. Long times of work and prepration, just those short bursts of joy and happiness when you can let yourself go wild and enjoy the best life has to offer. During sakura's full blossom, the atmosphere of sitting under the sakura and having a picnic and maybe even a few drinks is a special feeling I think most, not restricted to only Japanese, but also foreigners living in Japan long for. One weekend, in a year when the sakura is in full bloom and people are able to enjoy their lives to the fullest, drink, eat, and let out their wild innerself (some with the help of alcohol) under the beauty of the cherry blossom. Ofcause the sakura is not the only time you will see this side of the Japanese, there's the koyou (maple season in autumn), and hanabi (fireworks of summer), which comes close, but that is another story.

To students, sakura has an even greater special meaning. This is because the sakura's peak blossom coincides with the graduation period of grade school and university students. The time for an end to student life of high school, and the beginning of university for grade school students, and the end of student life and the beginning of working life for university students. The almost perfect timing adds to the intense atmosphere during this critical period of many student's lives. Serving simultaneously as a congradulations for completing another step of one's life, and a fairwell to the protection of the walls of accademia and life and laughter of good friends, into the life of the harsh world of a fully grown adult. It's no wonder that it is a special flower. I end this blog with the notes to a song I like, Sakura from Moriyama. I'm sure after reading it you'll see why the sakura is a very special flower to the Japanese even though my Japanese translation is still the level of a beginning amature.

森山 直太朗

僕らは　きっと待ってる　君とまた会える日々を
We will surely be waiting, waiting for the day to meet you again
　さくら並木の道の上で　手を振り　叫ぶよ
on the sakura lined street, we wave our hand and cry out
　どんなに苦しいときも　君は笑っているから
no matter how difficult times are, we will get through it with your smile
　挫(ｸｼﾞ)けそうになりかけても　頑張れる気がしたよ
even if we are discouraged, we will have the will to persist

　霞みゆく景色の中に　あの日の歌が聴こえる
Within the mistly view, the song of that day can still be heard
　さくら　さくら　今、咲き誇る
Sakura, sakura now proudly blossoming
　刹那(ｾﾂﾅ)に散りゆく運命(ｻﾀﾞﾒ)と知って
following it's destiny of short life and of falling
　さらば友よ　旅立ちの刻(ﾄｷ)
goodbye my friend, it's time for your journey
　変わらない その想いを今 　
the feelings now will not change

今なら言えるだろうか　偽(ｲﾂﾜ)りのない言葉
if it's now, can it be said without a lie
　輝ける君の未来を願う　本当の言葉

true words that wish you a bright future
　移りゆく街はまるで　僕らを急(ｾ)かすように
the changing town, like forcing me to follow it's change
　さくら　さくら　ただ舞い落ちる
sakura sakura, you dance as you fall
　いつか生まれ変わる瞬間(ﾄｷ)を信じ
still beliving that you will be reborn once more
　泣くな友よ　今惜別のとき
don't cry my friend, though it's time to part
　飾らないあの笑顔で　さあ

with your pure true smile

　さくら　さくら　いざ舞い上がれ
sakura sakura, twirling up high
　永遠(ﾄﾜ)にさんざめく　光を浴びて
and bath in the eternal light
　さらば友よ　またこの場所で会おう
goodbye my friend, and let's meet again here
　さくら舞い散る道の
sakura's dance as it floats down to the road
　さくら舞い散る道の上で

sakura dance as it falls on the road

Sakura Sakura Sakura

Enjoying the spring

Sakura covered ground

Sakura

Sakura path leading to main building

Sakura from University's main building

Sakura canopy

Sakura close up near home

Sakura at University

A choice, doubt, and guilt…

Based on my own view and plan, I haven’t had much trouble planning and choosing what I want for my future. For the most part, I could say that the goals and landmarks have been quite clear, I know basically what I want for my future, and I know what I must do to achieve them. Of cause, there have been moments when not all have been going according to plan, but I’ve so far managed some way to get around those problems. What I think I really want to say here is that I haven’t had much problem determining my choices, when considering only the effects that those choices will have on my life. However, just as life will have it, other factors come into play making the choices that much more harder to make, when my choices will, in some direct or indirect way affect those around me.

All in all, I think I’ve been a good son in most respects, I’ve gotten a decent education, haven’t done things which would get me into trouble with the law, feel responsibility for my actions, and I love my parents and am willing to go out of my way at times to make them happy in general. Of cause, I’m not perfect and have done a couple of things I’m not so proud of at a younger age, but they are minor. However, one thing that I have started to have pangs of guilt with in recent years, is my absence (and continued plan of absence) from my home in Thailand. My parents married late in their lives and they are a good ten or more years older than many of my friend’s parents, yes, they’re getting old… Actually they are old, somehow that’s one word I don’t like to hear. They have been very good parents and have always given me freedom in choosing my own future, but from time to time they would let out words which would let me know, either intentionally or not, that they are waiting for me to be back by their side. Recently of cause I’ve gotten to think more closely about this matter, especially since my father is not in the best of health. Of cause, nothing critically serious yet, but signs of ageing are starting to show.

Let me talk about my father a little bit. He’s a man I greatly respect, perhaps of most people, and has worked all his life to allow me the privileges I enjoy today. Working has been his life’s devotion to bring us a good life. He should be retiring now, and has tried that, but went back to work. In more ways than one, this is good for him, he would be too bored sitting around at home, and it’s at work that he get to meet people and get respect that his life’s hard work has earned him. Especially now that I’m not around at home, and my sister will be going abroad for further studies soon, home, will be a much lonelier place. My mom is also lonely obviously, but she is able to adapt more quickly since she has quit work since I was born, and have sisters in the same situation. She also likes to travel, and this gives her something to do. She too is lonely I expect, but I’ll leave this to another talk, since I would like to concentrate this one on my father.

My farther is quite different. He doesn’t like to travel per say, he already travels enough during work, and working all his life would make it difficult for him to stay home and do nothing productive all day. I contact my parents weekly, most of the time speaking to my mother. I know my father loves me of cause, he’s not good with words, but I know he loves my sister and I just as much as my mother, just from observing his actions, and what he says from time to time. Sometimes, he also tells my mother things, or let out a few sentences often in his semi-humorous style that shows how he really feels. Recently on my call home, my mother told me that my father said to my sister a few days ago “Can’t you not go overseas, please? You can stay and study here, and I can help you!”, this of cause was not in an angry, but his usual semi-humorous tones. In these rear moments when he expresses his feelings, which have become more often recently, we all know it’s because he’s lonely. When it comes to “being a good son”, I find it much easier to keep my mother happy, and myself a little less guilty. I could buy her a calendar during New Year, of some nice scenery during new year, or send her some nice tea via mail, and she always have stuff to say on the phone. My father is different however. From the area outside his work, he has little interest in such things, and if I really ask myself what would make him happy, I could honestly come up with only one answer, for me to go back and visit him in Thailand. This obviously limits my choices greatly, since I cannot go home that often to visit him. But that’s exactly the same thing that gives me guilt, since at this age, I know that it is what all parents would want, and I’m afraid to think of how much more time fate will give us to be together.

I feel even greater guilt since I know that for my future, it is best for me to stay over seas, at least for a while and work, after I graduate which further prolongs my stay away from home. The truth is, I’ve been overseas for so long that if not for my parents; I would be quite comfortable staying overseas. Today this guilt has multiplied… I called home, and was talking to my mother; she was talking about how my father has gone back to working and how he’s happy with work now. “He’s signed a contract for 2 years with this company, well I think it’s good for him, since he likes working, and it would be good since in another two years you and your sister will graduate, and he may retire”, said my mother. What she didn’t say, but what she meant or at least knew that my father’s wish was, was that after two years my sister and I would graduate, and we would be home or at least close around with him and my mother. Yes, it made sense after all, at that time, my father would almost certainly have to retire, because his age has already put him over the age of retirement of the company by many years.

The problem of cause is that I have no plans of returning after my graduation. I’ve been around in Thailand, at least a year after graduation from my masters, and my parents know how down I felt when I was in Thailand at that time. Of cause, I expected it. The fact of the matter is that I cannot find any job that I like in Thailand, since there is no need for a person with my expertise in the field outside academia, which I do not plan to enter at this stage. I have already considered this fact before going to the course in my masters, and was willing to do what it takes (whether it be stay overseas and work, getting a PhD etc.), so as to widen my scope and make possible for me to return to Thailand and have a greater chance of fathering my goals, later if I wanted to go into academia or any other options that my open during the future in Thailand. But the point is that this was not in my plan for the present recent future… In deed, I had failed to consider how this would make my parents feel, and what age and situation they would be at that stage… It is a difficult problem, of cause, and one that I will have to work on. Should I continue with my plans? Or give it up, or at least make a compromise to be closer to home??? Yes, my parents do mean a lot to me, and if the costs of perusing my plans are that high, I may need to reconsider. Considering, however, how much I've put into persuing my dream since highschool however, it will not be easy for me to reconsider. Home to my parents, that’s the only reason I would want to go home… And so I listen to Michael Buble’s song “Home” with my own alternative interpretation, while writing this when I should be studying for my Japanese exam tomorrow and the day after!

The politics of terrorism

When I started this blog I had intended it to be sort of a dirary for myself, with most of the content basically based on my experiances I see worth reflecting on. For the most part I have intentionally avoided talks on politics and social issues simply because it sort of deviated from the intention of the blog, and the flow which I had intended. I have though of starting another blog to write about those issues, but never did mostly because I was just too damn lazy, and as you can see, I've had less energy to update my blogs lately simply because I've become too lazy to do so.
Upon hearing about the terror incident in London I was deeply concerned. Not that it wasn't totally unexpected, but I think, like many other most laymen, simply avoided becoming too paranoid about the issue. But now that it has happened and more importantly by those born in their own country I couldn't help but feel a icking feeling deep down.
Half way around the world, the issue in Thailand is not much better, rather worse in fact. With over 800 casualties since the violence began, Thailand's south is probably only the second most dangerous place to be except maybe Iraq and perhaps Israel. What really bothers me is rather the Thai people's relatively little interest in this issue. Yes, there have been moments of concern after large incedents like the recent electrical power bombing occured, but after no less than a few days Thais (with the exception of the people in the south) will go back to their lives without giving much concern. Ofcause, not all Thais, but at least in my view most Thais have not given this issue much priority in their list when in came to the last election when most people with more concerned about economic issues (which by the way, the government has artificially stimulated and the results are beginning to show now).

I say this because I feel that somehow many Thais have been decieved, or allowed themselves to be decieved by the government which has admitted in even kidnapping some of the insergent suspects, or used unlawful means to "exterminate" suspected insergents (which often turn out to be innocent civilians). Dispite how the violence started, the use of violence, and especially unlawful force has made the locals lose trust in officials, and the insergents stronger. But after numerous changes of policies alternating between force and tactics, the government has failed the stop the escilating violence. Instead, couldn't we say that the situation has become worse? I'm afraid to say that with all talks of Thais being kind and warm hearted, little concerns have been put with their fellow country people in the south.

I'm afraid to say, and will refrain from mentioning what it will take the people espcially in our capital to realize the seriousness of this matter. But I think you know what I'm talking about...

Dispite what ever the British government say about the link about the London incedent and Britain's involvement in the US crusade, there is no doubt a link, may it be weak or strong. Ofcause, I'm by no means saying that governments should make decisions based on what terrorists say, however, in this case the validity of the Iraq war itself was in doubt from the very beginning, and the decision to persue Bush's call was a mistake on Mr. Blair's part. Yes, Mr. Blair was re-elected dispite his persuit for the war, just as Our PM was re-elected dispite of the government's mishandling of the South. Let's just hope our PM will choose the path to solve the problem at the root of the cause, though taking more time, by changing the mentality of the people in the South, and understanding as ex-PM Anand has mentioned, instead of the quick-fix mentality he has brought from his background.

New meaning to why politics matter

Recent events in London combined with the past events leading to it has given me highten concerns about how the Thai government is handling the situation in the south.

This takes the meaning of "why politics matter" to a whole new level...

More on this maybe later.

Condolences to those in London

Just wanted to take a little time to send my condolences for the people of London after the recent events. No doubt this would affect many lives directly or indirectly. One could only imagine what kind of devistation it may cause in any other city around the world.

The world was watching, is concerned and sympathises with you...