Unexpected Kindness

Tokyo is a large city buzzling with people, and many foreigners who visit for the first time can be forgiven for feeling that the people of Tokyo are not very kind in terms of help when it comes to asking directions etc. In some ways I understand how they must feel, since people here always seem busy especially in the vicinity of the train station, it's not easy to get help. I have also experienced this a couple of times, but later learnt to look for the type of people to ask for help. That combined with a little knowledge of Japanese, goes a long way in these types of situations. In some other cases, one can be surprised to find unexpected kindness in the most unexpected of places.

Last Saturday night I left the university about 10pm. It's been a little stressful lately with my work not going as well as expected, a review by the project sponsors coming soon, and my PhD topic still pending selection with no new ideas in my mind. I decided to call it a day, and left for home. It was a cold night, though spring is approaching, the winds still bring shivers to my feet. As I dragged my feet towards the train station with a lab mate (who was going for some snacks before returning back to the lab), I looked over across the street opposite the Ooimachi train station across from the university's entrance. There, in font to the supermarket's car park stood a yakitori (japanese grilled chicken) stands. It looked oddly out of place in a modern neon filled tall building city of Tokyo that I have been accustomed to. It was a small tattered tent like stand, with a lantern and it's tattered rugged canvas blinds covering it's side to keep the warmth within.

Such stand seems to be non-existance, at least anywhere within the vicinity of 5km of central Tokyo that I have been to. In fact, this is the first of such stands that I have seen in Tokyo since arriving 5 months ago. I have always felt like one of the things that I wanted to try before coming to Tokyo was to visit one of these stands, late at night for a quick meal and relaxation before returning home. These stands, depicted in Japanese movies and manga (often selling oden, a japanese soup with mixed boiled goodies on a stick), have always given me an equivalent of the western bar where stressed out "salary men" talk to the stand owner as he prepares the food about their troubles at work etc., while enjoying a light snack and maybe some boozes. To my disappointment, I haven't seen such a stand since arriving in Tokyo until this one. I guess it's hard to make a living in Tokyo with one of these stands these days.

This particular one, happened to appear seemingly out of no where a few weeks ago, when I just noticed it one day on my way out of the train station to the university. I have already decided the first time I saw it that I wanted to try it some time, and tonight seems just the right time to try it. I parted from my friend who made his way to the convenience store and crossed the road to the stand. I stood outside the stand for a moment, trying to read the menu and prices. I couldn't make out everything, but can tell that it's yakitori. Perfect, I thought, I haven't had a chance to try real charcoal grilled yakitori yet, and have always wanted to try it. I hesitated in front of the stand for a moment, the canvas blind separating me from the shop owners and a customer sitting on the stool, talking loudly in a drunken voice, but not in a hostile way. I still can't read Japanese very well, and though my conversational Japanese was okay, I often need people to repeat sentences sometimes. I had no idea what to order really since I could only read a couple of things on the menu, and wondered weather such a shop will welcome a foreigner who can't seem to order or read the menu. But I though, what the heck I wanted to try this, so I parted the blind and stepped in.

I was greeted by a lady in her mid thirties with the familiar “irashaimasei”. The shop owner, rugged man in his forties stood behind the counter of the push cart turned stand, with his eyes down at the grills also looking up for a moment to greet with the “irashaimasei”. There was only one other customer in sitting on the stool to my right, a man in his forties. He looks tired with his crumpled shirt and they all immediately stopped their conversation as I entered the stand. I felt a little odd, and for a flashing moment wondered weather I was not welcomed, at least by this customer, but the shop owner and the lady seemed nice so that though soon left my mind. The other customer’s sudden quietness, I felt, was probably because he was probably in the process of pouring out this troubles on something to the shop owner, and I happened to stopped the flow of what seemed, at least to him as a private conversation between them. I could see the boozes on the counter in front of him and could tell that he has had a lot to drink.

“What would you like?” asked the lady. I tried to read the menu, but soon gave up since I couldn’t read most of it or understand the meanings. “Arh.., um.., I’m sorry, I can’t read this…. what do you have?” I asked the lady. She didn’t seemed to be surprised and started reading 2-3 of the menus from the top. I didn’t want to bother her to read me the whole menu though there couldn’t be more than 15 items, so I stopped her and asked her instead, “What do you recommend?”. She thought for a moment as if no one has asked her this question before, then said the top 2. “What are they?” I asked. I couldn’t understand her at first then, she tried to speak a couple of words in English and I understood her. The second one is barbequed chicken thigh on a stick, and the first one is barbequed chicken with a type of onion. “I’ll take 2 together of both types”. “Will you take it home?, or eat here?”. I thought for a moment that it didn’t seem pleasant to sit next to this drunk other customer, and I seemed to have stopped his conversation with the shop owner. “Yes, I’ll take them home”, I smiled.

“please wait a moment”, she writes the order down, and hands it to the shop owner.

“Would you like it grilled with salt or ****”, asked the shop owner. Again I couldn’t make out the other word. I asked him again, “I’m sorry, what did you say?”, he repeated it again, and now as the lady and shop owner try to explain to me that you can have the option of the grill with either salt or a Japanese type of sauce. Um, I thought for a moment, I haven’t had either before and had any idea what they taste like. “Half of each” was what seemed practical, and so that was my answer. As I waited my eyes scanned the small push-cart car. It had a nice atmosphere besides it’s cramped small space. Sauces and ingredients lined the small shelves, also booze of various kinds and in front of cause the grill. The kind of atmosphere I yearned for. This is Japan!

“So you’re Chinese?”, asked the lady in Japanese.

“No, I’m Thai”, I answered snapping out of the atmosphere.

“Really? Where are you from? Bangkok?”

“Yes, I am actually”

“Which part of Bangkok?, Sukumvit?”

“No, well, I’m a little out, an area called ****. You’ve been to Bangkok before?”

“Yes”, she answered “Seven times, I have friends living there”,

“Wow, really!”

“Yes, I go there almost every year”,

And just like that conversation flowed out easily like we were old friends. The shop owner didn’t say anything. He just went on with his chicken grilling, and smiled and nodded approvingly from time to time.

“one more ****”, said the other customer, I couldn’t make out the name, but knew it was a name of an alcohol.

The shop owner nodded, pulled out a cup, and reached over and pored the customer a glass full.

“You know I’ve been to Thailand too”, the customer said suddenly, many times, 2-3 times, “Also been to Cambodia and ***”,

“Really? so how did you enjoy it?”, I asked automatically like a knee jerk reaction.

“Nice, yeah, you know ****”,

It was really difficult to make out what he was saying, since he was obviously drunk and was obviously slurring most of the words.

“Yeah, everything is damn expensive in this country”, I could make from what he slurred out. “You know how much this alcohol costs? 900yen, just one glass, 900yen! Have seven or eight and you’ll end up spending 10,000 or more in just one night!”

Although he was drunk, I could tell that he wasn’t a such a bad guy, he obviously wanted someone to speak to , and I just happened to be there at the right place and time, so we talked. Or I should say I listened through most of conversation. He’s quite a friendly guy actually.

There is a sudden cozyness inside this shop, the shop owners were not only friendly in a customer shop owner kind of way, but it really felt that they make you feel at ease, like a lost friend. The customers there also. I forgot all my troubles at that moment, and started to converse freely with them.

"Your chicken is ready..." said the man behind the grill,
"Um, I think I change my mind, I'll have it here", I decided suddenly that it would be a lot more interesting to stay a while longer. I continued to converse with the customer for 20 minutes or so.

“So you’re a student?”, asked the lady,

“yes, I got to this university”, I pointed in the direction of the university.

“Wow, you must be a very smart guy then, what year are you in?”

“Well I’m a research student right now, but soon I’ll be a doctoral student”, I answered.

“A doctoral student! You must be very smart!”, she answered. Once again I’ve been put in this type of situation in which I didn’t know how to answer. In the beginning when I heard this sort of comment, I would answer what I thought, that I’m not really as smart as she thinks, but yes, I was able to get a chance to get in. However, it seems to me that with this kind of answer, it’s sometimes insulting to the Japanese people, since Japanese people highly value education, and many of their top universities have a notorious name for being very difficult to get enrolled, especially in undergrad course. To answer to them that no, I’m really not that smart, but yes I got in, is sort of like I’m looking down on their university. It’s too difficult for me to explain to them that yes, it takes some level of ability to get in, but not everyone is Einstein in the university! So, I didn’t know what to answer, and instead just smiled and nodded thanking her for her compliments.

“It’s ready!”, the shop owner put the grilled chicken down in front of me. I ate it while conversing a little more with the other customer. It was a very nice atmosphere, and it totally relieved me from my stress early to talk to these people somehow. I looked at my watch as I finished my chicken. It’s getting pretty late. “Well I should be going now, it’s getting pretty late”.

“What you’re going now? Come on, don’t go so fast!”, the drunk customer slurred,

“I really have to go, it’s getting quite late, thanks for the talk”, I smiled. He didn’t give up, trying to get me to stay longer. “He has to go to the lab tomorrow,” the lady helped me with a lie. “Arh, yes, I do….”, I continued catching her intention.

“Okay, at least but some grilled chicken back”, he slurred. It was really a little expensive for a student I thought as I paid for my chicken to the lady, but I didn’t mind the cost today. I felt a lot better than when before I came. “Maybe next time, I smiled”.

“No really you should take some home, it’s really nice when it’s hot then things”, the customer wouldn’t give up. “Um, maybe next time,” I smiled again.

“Okay, tell you what, it’s on me, get some **** and **** and ****”, he ordered the shop owner. I was a little stunned. Is that what I just heard? He’s buying me something, to me a guy he’s never even met? Well, okay he’s drunk and all, but it must have been a mistake I thought. I must have heard it wrong. I started to leave. “Stay, wait a little while”, said the lady as she smiled. So I waited a little while. As the shop owner grinned in his familiar way, and started grilling some stuff on the grill. After grilling, he puts it in the bag, and hands it to the lady who hands it to me. I didn’t take it immediately. I was a little stunned at the man’s kindness, and a little, surprised. Is this for real? “Take it,” said the lady as she smiled, I looked over to the man and he gestured approvingly. So I took it, and thanked him, and left the small teriyaki shop. “Good luck on your studies, they said, and please come again!”, said the lady. “Yes I will”, I answered.

As I walked towards the train station, I felt a strange warmth from the kindness of the man and the yakitori shop owner. The chicken didn’t taste that good actually, most chicken stalls on the side streets of Bangkok would easily beat the taste. But the kindness and friendliness I felt in that small shop more than made up for the taste. My stress was no more, and it was one of the best feelings I had since coming to Japan. Yes, a little kindness really does change one person’s gloomy day, into a joyful day. It left me surprised, and yes, my stress melted away. The little yakitori shop that didn’t sell only grilled chicken, it was a lot more. So, I understood why these small little shops are often depicted in Japanese movies as a place where business men often go to wind down their stress in cartoons and movies. I felt it, and will be back to it again some day.

It's been a while

I've been very busy lately so I haven't posted in a while. Looking at the date of my last post and I realize it's been almost 2 months. These two months have been hectic, and I've got a lot to write about as I've said early, but no time or mood to write anything.

Well, my writing mood is back, so first as I promised here's my first long post in a while about one of my experiances 3 months back. I'll eventually get the other stuff down as time will give, probably once or twice a week as possible.