A Happy New Year 2005?

Needless to say that this New Year has been different than the others. Though the country that I'm living in is one of the least affected by the tsunami (only a few Japanese were in the area at the time), celebration went on as usual, my home country was. Thailand has suffered great losses, in terms of casualties, and livelyhood. No doubt many people's lives will never be the same again. So it was a strange feeling, I didn't know weather to be happy or sad as we had our little new year gathering at the dorm, eating and watching TV. Sure the atmosphere was great, but there is something at the back of my mind that says that something was not right. Maybe it was guilt, I couldn't really put my finger on it.

But without even thinking why, I decided to call home. I don't think I'm one of those people who would usually think of my family at home in Thailand, while at a party, but I guess this time was different. Somehow I just wanted to talk to them, see how they are doing, know that they're okay, though I already knew they were. I didn't even think about it, it was instinctive. It even supprized myself.

New Years have always been a time that I usually thought about how things have been going on in the past year. It's another year already? That's always something I have always been prone to doing sometime after the initial celebration. A lot of things have happened this year for me. I've moved to a new country, met new people, many things have happened over the world. Japan had several earthquakes and typhoons, and Tsunami in Thailand, and the Asean and Indian ocean countries. Election next year in Thailand. Um, many things have not turned out as I have expected, I've felt joy and disappointment. I'm a year older, and life goes on...

A time to reflect? Well, you can reflect any time I guess, but at lest for me, a new year does have meaning. It's the end of a time unit, though abstract it may be.

I will visit a shrine tomorrow, as Japanese tradition goes. It should be an interesting experiance, a start to the new year. But maybe I won't be there really for the new year wish. But just the atmosphere, some more time to reflect, while I wait for my turn to stand in front of the shrine. What ever it is that I wish for tomorrow, once I get up on the stair in front of the wishing box, I hope it will make me understand myself a lot better about my choices of what is important, by seeing what I would think of at that moment. From that point on, I will hopefully understand a little more of myself, and what I should do to improve myself, weather it is phychological or physical.

A New Year to all, hopefully those of us who can be happy during this time, will appreciate it more, for those who can't..