Stephen Hawking: A life in Science

I've just finished "Stephen Hawking: A life in Science" yesterday, after much delay due to my lack of reading time recently. The book is quite a good one, but not exactly what I would call the most exciting biography that I've read (not that I've read many), but it seems that a lot of what is written, is on what the author though of Stephen Hawking, which is not strange for a biography I guess.

For those who are not familar with the name Hawking has been celebrated as one of the most brilliant minds on present day, with people comparing him to the airs of Galelio, Newton and Einstine. The books trys to paint a picture of Hawking, though I can't be so sure how accurate this picture of him is, it's quite a fascinating one. I was rather annoyed when I started reading the books as in some (quite long) parts of the books which I though the authors spent a little bit too much time explaining the theories that Stephen was working on, rather than his life (which was what I had brought the book for, if I wanted to read about his works I would have read Hawking's popular science books "A Brief History of Time", or "The Universe In a Nutshell", some of which I've aready read). However, I did find some significance in their explination later on as to tell the reader how significant Hawking's works was.

What was good about his life story is that the reader is presented with a very real character, one who may be celebrated by many, and yet dispised by others due to his actions weather intentionally or not. It also tries to tell how a man has been changed, due to his circumstances, ie., from brillant child, to discovering his disease, to recognized genius to international icon. Though I don't know them to be accurate, well is there such a thing as an accurate view any way? Maybe there are just different perspectives, as to how people view him, so at least I've read one. An interesting read I'd say, more than just a book praising his intellectual brillance. We are all human after all, and no human is free from fault.

Jinshinjiko

I woke up late today, and started on my way to the university. I got to Shibuya station about 8:30, and took my usual train to the university. I waited, and thought about some things that was on my mind, and I waited. Before I knew it, half an hour has passed. It's particularly strange for the Japanese train to be this late, as they are known to always be on time, and usually I have to wait no more than 3-5 minutes for the train to part. I noticed that some people started to leave the train after some announcement. I couldn't hear the announcement well, so I didn't know what was happening, but I knew something was up. After waiting another 10 minutes or so, I decide to leave the train.

There is a giant board displaying the time table at the station. I couldn't catch what it said really, but I knew that many trains have been canceled. Then I saw a familar kanji on the board. I looked it up on my electronic dictionary, and found the word to be "jinshinjiko". It is a word that I have learnt before in my Japanese class. It literally means a traffic accident resulting in personal injury or death. Then it was all clear to me. Althought "jinshinjiko" has the dictionary definition of a traffic accident, when you see this word at the train station, it usually means that someone has commited suicide. I was a little shocked, and sort of felt sad for that person.

As I would be late for my usual morning Japanese class, I decided to cmail "equivalent to sms" a friend, to tell him that I would be late. My mobile has word recognition, so after only pushing in "jin" the option that came up was "jinshin", followed by "jiko". It then occured to me that this sort of suicide must not be so rare, seeing as it is on my phone word recognition as some commonly used words. I recalled from my Japanese teacher that she had once been delayed twice on the same day because of "jinshinjiko". Yes, it seems to be not such are rare event at all. Later I asked my friend, and he said that this kind of suicide is not rear in Japan. This year alone he had been delayed by "jinshinjiko" twice.

I felt a little sorry for the person who commited suicide. I thought about why someone would want to commit suicide this way. Japanese people are known to be very "socially strict" people, and would normally not do anything in public to cause another person to be toubled by his/her action. Japanese people can be said to be socially conforming to social "rules", but why would someone want to commit suicide this way, when it would cause other peole so much trouble? It seems to be the opposite to the Japanese people's character. I thought about it for a while, and came up with this explination.

Eventhough Tokyo is a very big city, with a large population, it's not strange for Japanese people to feel lonely. I think this is because many people spend so much time at work or school that for some people they probably don't have many friends to consult when they are in trouble. For these people, if for some reason they want to commit suicide, they might want to commit suicide by jumping in front of the train. My conclusion came from the reasoning that since these people are probably "loners", by commiting suicide this way what ever the reason (be it disappointment from school, or work, or love, stress), they want to tell the people in Tokyo, "Hey, I exist! Eventhough not many people know me when I'm alive, many people will be stopped by my death, and maybe someone will wonder, who was that guy/girl that comitted suicide?" So in some way they will be remembered as existing. Well, that's just one possibility that I have thought of. It's a pretty sad thing actually, at least for me. But people here seems to have gotten used to it. It probably doesn't happen that often, but it's obviouly not a rare event. I wonder how many people commit suicide this way?

Confirmation

As those words found their ways to my ears,
I quietly sipped my soup.
It didn't hurt nearly as much as I though it would.
Just acceptance, and realization...
A confirmation of what I had expected...
No, I didn't feel a thing....
at that moment anyhow...

I cannot say that it would remain that way for the rest of the day,
It just took time for these things to seep in I guess.
Yes, I was quiet alright, I just needed time to think..
So while they chattered, my mind drifted
Yes, it was good to know.
Now that I've got that cleared, I can move on.

I did not like to hear those words,
I just could not comment or respond to them,
well, not yet anyway. Just needed more time to get used to the idea.
It was the truth afterall, and I have no choice but to accept it.
Somehow it cleared the air, I realized.
So after a few hours of pondering, I realized.
Yes, it's time to move on.
I won't dwell on that though, I decided there and then.

Just like that, I was back to my cheerful self again.
For a while at least.
Somehow, I didn't feel like going to that movie,
Especially when I knew what it was going to be about.
Not today, I thought, why do I have to watch this type of movie today?
Argh, it won't be that bad I thought.

It was a good movie afterall,
All things being said, I would have enjoyed it more,
another time.
I could not help going back, and compare certain aspects,
of the movie and how I felt at the moment.

And so as they regirously discussed the meaning of the movie,
I was quiet.
I listened.
But I didn't comment.
for many reasons I guess,
but most of all because I just didn't want to talk.
I was, in more ways than one, back to my thought
a little less thinking should do me good.
It has had time to seep in.
I just needed time to accept it,
act appropriately,
and move on...

19 Dec 2004

Annoyed

I decided to start a new topic and continue on the previous one later. I am rather annoyed today. For those who don't know, I live in a dorm. From my knowledge, most, if not all students who live in this dorm has recieved the Japanese government scholarship, so you can say that all of us don't have financial problems. For the past month or so, I have been noticing my washing liquid disappear little by little. I was about 90% sure that someone has been using my dish washing liquid. Today, I became sure when that person decided to use most of what was left with my dish washing liquid. Now I don't think I'm a stingy person, and if a friend ran out of dish washing liquid I would gladly give him some. However, I am annoyed that this person (I don't know who) has been using my dish washing liquid for months, and is most likely squeezing a lot of it out to store for personal use later without informing me. To me, this is equivalent to stealing. I became sure today, when most of it ran out. Now dish washing liquid is no expensive commodity. You can buy one from the 100 yen shop, and the fact that students from this dorm (most likely) all recieved the scholarship and has no financial problems, and has been stealing my dish washing liquid for months annoyed me very much.

In addition, someone has "borrowed my knife and cutting board", without returning my "knife". This also annoyed me since I couldn't cook, and had to borrow a friend's knife.

With this rather annoying two matters I decided it was the last straw. I posted a message on my cabinate in the kitchen for the person who "borrowed" my knife, to please return it by tomorrow night or I would go to the dorm office and declare it stolen. As for the dish washing detergent I posted another message basically scolding the person who has taken my dish washing liquid as a shame to his country. Now you would think that this is rather extreme, but if you know me, I am not the type who want to make enemies by small matters, but I have put up with this thing for long enough and just had to say something.

I'm waiting for the reaction now....

How should we help?

As I waited for the lights to change, I sat in my car I was once again faced with the same dilemma, as the small boy approached.

I often had to take the express way when I have to pick up my sister, or meet my friends in the city on my way back from the university, and I would usually visit at the usual Rama 4 exit. The traffic lights are always slow to change, and radio reception in that area is usually pritty bad, so I would usually have to turn it off. I would have to sit still, and quietly with only the low hum of the car engine and aircon in the background waited, and waited for the lights to change maybe 3-4 times before I make it out of the area.

There are usually a small boy or girl, and perhaps a woman who would come around selling "punag malai" hanging over their pvc poles. I usually pretend to not notice them, as if it would help (but sometimes it does), so that they wouldn't approach me to sell one of their "malai". I would be pritty cold, and pretend to not notice, staring blankly streight ahead, or give a slight shake of my head as a sign of refusing their offer.

It's the right thing to do, I sure of it, or at least have been. Though I would really want to help them, I "knew" it was better that I didn't buy it, or at least in the long run. After all, if I supported them by buying one of the "malai" I would be supporting a wrong cause right? If everyone bough their "malai" then more and more kids will be forced by their parents to sell "malai" and other things on the street, as they are making good business. But if they are not selling well, maybe they will take some other jobs which is not so dangerous. They could really get hurt by cars that suddenly took off as the lights changed, or motorcycles that nevigated between the cars. Yes, I'm sure of it, I must be doing a good thing by not buying a "malai", I thought to myself.

But is that really the case? Recently I've been doubting my past resolutions. Things don't seem to be changing that much. I mean, yes, the number of kids selling "malai" has probably decreased in the maybe last 10 years or so, or at least I remembered that there were more. So overall things are getting better... But there are still enough of them around for me to know that they will be around for some time to come. The fact that I'm not helping them by buying their "malai" might mean that they might get scolded or mis treated by their parents, or not have enough money to eat tonight. And how many nights will it take for them to give up this business? Or would they ever give it up for something better? Or do they actually know any other alternatives? Maybe it would be better if I help by giving the kid some many water I got from the petrol station, or some kind of food to eat instead of buying the malai?

It's really strange, when I think about this concept of "helping by not supporting", which often means "helping by not interacting". It was on that particular day that I realized how hypocritical I was. I realized this when I think about my stance on the Myanmar issue. It just so happens that at the time the ASEM (Asean-EU meeting) was having some problems concerning the Burma issue. EU does not want Myanmar to join the ASEM meeting, ASEAN (south east asian) countries do. Now the argument goes like this. EU, knowing Myanmar's record of military juntra having opposed and locked up Aung San Su Kee, and their interaction with drug trafficing and minority ethnic clensing by rape, wants to help the country of Myanmar by not supporting the military juntra. What it basically means, is that it does not interact with the country of Mynamar, do business, trade, etc. ASEAN sees it as Myanmar's internal issue, and want Myanmar in. This is only normal when you think about it, it's much easier for someone living a street block away to not interact with your neighbour than you are with your neighbour. Especially if the problems of your neighbour is spilling over to your house.

Now, when we think about this, how does this affect the people of Myanmar? Ofcause, it would be more difficult for them without trade, or outside exposure. It would be harder to make a living without the trade, and many necessicities such as medecine, food or every day goods will be more difficult to come by. Staring to see the connection with the boy selling "malai" now? As a methaphore, the boy selling "malai" is the people of Myanmar. His parents is the military juntra, and passing motorists are the country that choose to interact with Myanmar, EU, Thailand, etc, or not. Well, as I'm a little lazy to write more, I think you can carry the thought on from here as how they are related.

What's different, here is my stance on the Myanmar issue. Well, ofcause I don't support the military juntra either, but is the best way of the helping the people of Myanmar the act of "not interacting with Myanmar"? Yes we get all those secret pictures from foreigners who's hidden camers to prove the bad situation there. But isn't the fact that we do not interact with Mynmar, itself also hurting the people of Myanmar? Something to think about.

Well, I'll leave it to that for now, I'll continue with another blog later expressing my opinion on this issue, and what I think we should do.